Flight in Winter

Uneducated and unmotivated individuals often believe that they can draw drinking water from their home's plumbing in an emergency.  Simple mathematics reveals the folly of this plan. 

Let's calculate the volume of water in your home's plumbing.

The plumbing in your home is 3/4" diameter. 

Radius of pipe (r) = 3/8 of one inch = 0.375in

Area of a cylinder (pipe) = π x r²

pi = 3.14159265

3.14159265 times 0.375² equals 0.44178646
Volume of a cylinder (pipe) = area x length

One gallon of water equals 231 cubic inches
Our plumbing contains 0.44178646 cubic inches per running inch

Let's put in our numbers.

231 / 0.44178646 = 522.87704788417463043118161656652

Let's round this off to 522.88 inches.

Divide this by 12 and we see that we need 43.57 feet of plumbing for every gallon of water.

You need a minimum of one gallon of water per person per day.  Three days supply for two people would require 261.42 feet of plumbing, which I sincerely doubt that you have in your home. 

Some say alcohol is bad for you and others say drinking a glass of wine periodically will lessen your chances of having a heart attack. Amen! Some say you shouldn’t eat potatoes, yet in the 1800’s, one third of the population of Ireland was entirely dependent on the potato for food…and then the potato famine wiped out a million of them. I guess they didn’t know any better. We shouldn’t eat rice because it is too starchy and contains few nutrients, yet billions of people around the world live on rice. Perhaps someone should tell them it’s not possible.

Some people avoid sugar and use Nutri-Sweet which was created in a laboratory. Some say real butter is bad for you, so they opt for margarine, also created in a lab. Soy is good, soy is bad, peanuts are good, peanuts are bad, and oh my goodness, now we have an entire community that fears genetically modified foods even though they are impossible to avoid. Those miserable creatures can’t eat fresh fruits or vegetables. They can’t eat canned goods because there’s no telling what’s in them and they buy meat because the cows and chickens eat genetically engineered food. What do you suppose they eat? Pop-Tarts!

[1] Factoid: Genetically modified soya produces 10% less food than its conventional equivalent.
Remember when everyone jumped on the anti-caffeine bandwagon and rode it over the cliff? I almost got arrested for ordering a regular cup of coffee! That fad ran its course and now, there’s an entire section of overly caffeinated drinks in the stores. Someone discovered we need more fiber and suddenly, we were force-fed bran muffins, oat bread and cereal that tasted like saw dust. One day, I could have sworn I flushed a nightstand down the toilet.

A deep voice announced over the loud speaker, “You need more protein!” Yea, verily, the shelves were filled with protein drinks and protein bars and if that’s not enough for you, buy some protein powder to spike everything you eat, but be careful because some is made from whey and some from soy. They should make it from a natural substance like bugs.

In the midst of all of this, a group of people decided that our colons needed a good cleansing. These fringe dwellers believe that rancid food is building up in our poop chute because Yahweh didn’t create us properly. Get a hose and some water purified through distillation or reverse osmosis and see how many gallons you can hold before you burst…or just eat some sauerkraut and wait about ten minutes.

Then some nimrod became infatuated with parasites and that created a whole new market for pest control elixirs, gizmos and fad diets.  Help!  Parasites are eating my guts!  Gotta get those pesky parasites out of our bodies because…because…I don’t know why, but we have to do it or we’ll die!  Wait, we’ll die one way or the other, won’t we?

Do you think it was an impacted colon or parasites that killed our grandparents when they lived to be one hundred? Remember, they ate bacon and eggs and real butter and gravy and they drank whole milk. Many of them even cooked with lard and their veins didn’t explode.